Hey, Pete Davidson, you should do a skit on Saturday Night Live where there’s a guy and a woman are in the Drive-Thru and it’s just pouring down rain.

The drive thru doesn’t have a cover, and the couple are arguing about whether to roll the window down or not, and the guy in the drive-through is holding the bag out in the rain the entire time.

So, the woman finally rolls the window down real quick, grabs the bag, pulls it in, & rolls the window up. But, then all she has is the top of the bag. Because…

Hey, I’m a little bit high again , and I had a great idea.

Make a pocket shocker thing to put in the pocket where you carry your phone or whatever. If someone reaches down to steal your stuff, it’ll shock the shit out of them.

You can push the button in your other pocket that disables the Shocker, so you can reach in & not get the pee pee shocked out you. Cool!

I just solved the problem with the entire incel Community. If they just have sex with each other and turn gay, then they’d always have someone with them. That’s what they should do man.

We typically refer to the power of any explosions by comparing them against the bomb dropped on Hiroshima.

Instead of that, I’m going to start comparing it against the bomb dropped on Nagasaki.

That will confuse people because it a lesser talked about explosion. example: That explosion was as powerful as 12 of the bombs dropped Nagasaki.

Or, we should at least say Hiroshimas, like it was an actual unit of measure. example: that explosion was 8 Hiroshimas

We should equip ambulance drivers and paramedics with a sidearm.

That way, if somebody is just like so bad that they’re never gonna survive, like they got a chunk of lava in their chest burning through them or something. You just say, oh, he’s fucked, and just put a bullet in his head.

I want to be a bullet train driver, so when I’m driving that bullet train at like 500 miles an hour and we get to our destination. I’m just gonna freaking slam on the brakes and everybody’s just gonna fly around in the cars.

Oh God, would that be funny? I gotta drive a bullet train.

I’m a little bit high again, wait, what the hell happened?

I just had a great idea. When you do editing for TV, you have to leave a spot for the commercial; so the action stops, and then, when it picks back up, it’s got a slow moment for just about a second to get you acclimated back into the show.

I want to make it where something just insane happens in that first second, like someone’s flying to their death on a fiery magma tornado. And then switch the scene immediately, and people be like, wait, what the hell happened during the break?